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Funny things my Dad sent me

January 21, 2010

My Dad sent these to me this morning. I know I have not blogged in a while, due to illness. Hope these silly little words are enough to make you smile today.

Jan – who feels good, but not great.

“If the enemy is in range, so are you.”
– Infantry Journal
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
encountered automatic weapons.”
– General MacArthur
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“You, you, and you. Panic. The rest of you, come with me.”
– U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“Tracers work both ways.”
– U.S. Army Ordnance
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“Five second fuses only last three seconds.”
– Infantry Journal
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“Any ship can be a minesweeper. …Once.”
———— ——— ——— ——— —–
“Never ever tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.”
– Unknown Marine Recruit
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
Clean it, if it’s Dirty.
Oil it, if it Squeaks.
But: Don’t Mess with it, if it Works!
– USAF Electronic Technician
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
“If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him.”
– USAF Ammo Troop
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil.
….for I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing.”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“I found it generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you
just bombed.”
– John McCain, Pilot & U.S. Senator (R)
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“You’ve never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3.”
– Paul F. Crickmore ( SR-71 test pilot and author)
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
A Navigator’s Definition of Latitude & Longitude:
Latitude is where we are lost, and Longitude is how long we’ve
been lost there!
– USAF Navi-guesser
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire.”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it’s probably
a helicopter. However, it’s probably unsafe in any case.”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always
have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots?
If a pilot fouls up, the pilot dies. If ATC fouls up, the pilot dies.”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two out of three are needed to
successfully complete the flight.”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“Mankind has a perfect record in aviation. We never left one up
there!”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to
a person on the ground who is incapable of understanding or doing
anything about it.”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just
barely kill you.”
– Attributed to Max Stanley ( Northrop test pilot)
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.”
– Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB , AZ, 1970
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“If something hasn’t broken on your helicopter, it’s about to.”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
“You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes
FULL power to taxi to the terminal.”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having
torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck
arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, “What
happened?” The pilot’s reply: “I don’t know, I just got here myself!”
————————————————

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